Today I was on a creative high.
I only meant to take a few outfit photos and that was it but then I was feeling good so I took some extra late night special type photos just because. (I’ll post them after I make this daily post) I’ve been in such a rut lately but the response to my last post along with some new followers (Heeeeeeyyy!!!) is all the more motivation for me to keep up with this blog. Taking photos of myself has become a lot easier and I’m starting to have more fun with it. Before I would be so self conscious about whether or not a photo looked good and ended up deleting them all.
I still have days where I’m self conscious about my body. People would tell me how they envy how much I could eat and still be so “skinny”. Now although I do have a fast metabolism, what they didn’t realize was that eating was such a struggle for me. Whenever people would comment how “skinny” I looked, I would force myself to eat as much as I possibly could. Sometimes even to the point where I would have to rush to the bathroom to throw up from eating way more than my body could handle.
Once I felt like I was at a good weight, I would eat normal for a few days and then guilt would settle in and I would just stop eating altogether.Of course as the years went by I got better at pretending to eat healthy while my mind and body suffered. It wasn’t until my senior year in high school when everything seemed to be going to shit that I realized that I would need to admit that I had a problem and it needed to be fixed.
After that and a few other life changing events, I studied and learned how to eat healthy and be confident in the body that I have. Currently I’m not at the weight I should be but I’m doing my best to get there the safe and healthy way. Until then I constantly push myself to do what I can to keep from falling into old habits.
It’s hard but the reward is worth it.
She is so awesome and honest! Why did she ever have that problem? She is so gorgeous! Help me petition to get her to be my girlfriend :P